Waiting for the itch… My little red dot is there. I’ve joined the helminthic therapy forum and have decided to post my reaction to hookworms, since I’m the first person with Crohn’s disease to do so. I am AIT’s second female patient, and third Crohn’s disease patient, but the first two haven’t written a thing. It’s too soon to know if they’ve benefitted from hookworms anyway, so I might as well log my experience for the future. So far, so good. Not much to report. I am home safe, don’t have to be stuck in a car struggling to hold in my diarrhea, and I have a single red dot. I can cozy up with my children and my cat, and watch the lights on the Christmas tree twinkle.
I sweat and run to the bathroom all night. There’s a certain romance in watching the stars out the bathroom window while you’re going diarrhea. It reminds me of when my children were infants, nursing. Up a few times a night; sometimes I’d be rocking them in my bed, latched at the breast. The days and nights were one series of 4 hour stretches – from breast to breast, I’d see every dawn, every sunset, every midnight rush of stars.
Now I watch the big dipper out the bathroom window. A few hours later, and it is far to the right of the toilet. I get up again and it is dawn.
I wonder if next year I will miss these stars. If the hookworms will manage to quiet my Crohn’s. If I won’t spend the nights in chronic pain and misery. I mop up the hallway floor with bleach when my volcanic rumblings spill out of my underwear on the run to the toilet. Oh hookworm larvae swimming in my bloodstream; next year, will I simply sleep?
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