Waiting for the Cure

This week has been wonderful, except for the last 2 days, due to my last hookworm dose. Which is a
shame, since I wanted a blood test to show how great I was doing and
now I wonder what it’s going to pick up. Still.

POSITIVES:

*I think I slept through the night this whole week except for once. I
can actually get up, put my robe on, tie it, find my slippers, and
walk into the bathroom. Rather than run. (And not make it.) So this
is huge.

*I walked down to the lighthouse and back, and ran on the beach. And
I’m not sore. I made a vow to myself in the depths of my illness, that
if I could become well, I would wake up at dawn and run on the beach,
everyday. Luckily I’m not fully well yet, since I’m finding I prefer
a cup of tea.

*About 3 solid stools, and the rest soft but solid. I actually had a
few times where I was caught in public and had to go. And I didn’t
have a giant pad in my underwear, and I walked to the bathroom, was
able to put the paper on the seat, and make it. And it was almost
solid. The joy.

*I now officially own no pants that fit. I went to buy more, and the
13’s were too small. I’m not used to this. What do you do when you
don’t fit the biggest size? I still look thin, so I have no idea what
overweight people do. Do I have to start shopping in the plus
section? I used to be an 8.

*More energy. Not a lot, I’m just not having 5 hour naps anymore.
I’m needing about 10 hours of sleep a day rather than 12. I guess
that’s improvement.

*Tacos, sourdough bread, chocolate, peanuts, raisins, salad, squaw
bread, and raw apples. Heaven.

*Night sweats are becoming a distant memory.

NEGATIVES:

*mucus between bowel movements (a little less)

*still have loose stools mixed in

*not sure I tolerate the salad ;(

*don’t trust the wellness

Of course, I have diarrhea as I write and feel nauseous, but this may
be a temporary reaction to my last dose. Up until yesterday, I’ve been getting better and
better. I see my GI on May 2nd (hence the blood test) so I will
finally get to post numerical results.

I can’t believe how pessimistic I’ve become though. I’m just waiting
for the crash. I almost believed that this might work for me, but now
I’m worrying. What if it only works part way? Is this temporary
wellness a tease? My sister said, “Well, if you get a few months of
remission, that’ll be nice.” I don’t want a few months of remission.
I want it forever.