So it’s been a difficult month. I’ve considered intestinal dysbiosis, regression, and
hopefully the most likely candidate; I’m still reacting to the last
inoculation. I get to just wait and see! I’m getting good at that.
Those 2 worms took steroids and had been body building for months
before they met me. They whispered to each other, “Let’s see how far
back we can set this optimistic woman and make her question everything in her life,
including if she’ll ever be well, if she’ll ever travel, have another
baby, and meanwhile destroy most every relationship she’s been working
to preserve.”
Oh, it’s been a blast I can tell you.
This week, I’ve gotten to experience minor arthritic twinges in my
fingers, ankles, shooting pains in my ileum. Nueropathy in my hands,
minor, but disturbing. Naps are necessary, but I still need 10 hours
after that. Loose stools, mucus, depression, despair, wit so sharp
you are left bleeding after the conversation…all the 2-3 larvae
before caused nothing but euphoria, so there you have it. What fun is
multiple inoculation therapy! You never know if you’ll be doomed!
I suppose since my symptoms are mirroring the first cohort, it could
be that my body is reacting similarly. This is week 7 though, but my
arthritis last time manifested by week 3, and was gone by week 10 I
think, so this is acting delayed, which makes me mistrust the hypothesis.
It could be I’m the first Crohn’s disease patient to write about her
experience, get remission at 4 months, then destroy it by greedily
adding to her existing supply. And either future health awaits, or I
squandered my grand 2 months by expecing things to get better. Or
perhaps the remission only lasted fleetingly, as usual. Or perhaps the
new worms displaced the old, and I am left with not enough worms to
induce immunoregulation. Who knows? I should have traveled the world
when I could!
The whole thing’s extremely lonely.
But what can I do? I’m not going back on standard medications,
because I rejected them all. (With severe nuetropenia, a tripling of
my CRP, etc.) I’m not doing the MAP protocol because it has a 15-20%
success rate and you have to stay on the antibiotics indefinately, and
they can cause liver failure. Study medications can cause cancer, and
probably I’d have to kill the hookworms. So I wait…
Of course, I’m WAY better than back in December; still at my normal
weight, still rosy and muscular looking, eating toast again and
cherries (if I get loose stools no matter what I do, I might as well
be happy is my new motto). If this is as good as it gets, it’s better
than before, but not as good as 3 years ago, when I had all this but
solid stools too. That’s what’s hard when you’ve had a chronic
disease for 20 years. What year do you compare yourself to?
I suppose traveling around the world is overrated. All you do is end
up back home in the end.
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