Waiting for the Cure

This last week has been one of my more trying ones.  My husband left on Saturday, and that night, I didn’t sleep at all.  That reawoke the anxiety/insomnia that I’ve now experienced last month, and in July; always on my PMS week.  The first was when I was travelling, so I wrote it off to travel insomnia.  It took a few days of being home to go back to normal.  The next month I was fine, just a few teary days and night sweats before bleeding.  Then September, it happened again with a vengeance.   I tried Lexapro and it got 10X worse, so quit after a week.  I got more worms and the high made things all better.  Then I was sleeping fine, until my husband left, and it’s been one week of hell – every night, lying awake for hours, my heart pounding, my chest constricted.  I’m taking valerian, melatonin, hot baths, magnesium glycinate – finally, Benadryl the last 3 nights has allowed me to drop off around 12:00.  I sleep until 8, so at least I’m getting my sleep, but I’m a nervous wreck.

I saw am MD I used to go to and he feels that nutritional deficiencies – particularly low zinc, B6, D, and magnesium are contributing to the anxiety.  I got a magnesium IV, and I’m twitching WAY less, so I think this was key to that problem.  I’ll get another one next week.  I felt more calm – until I went to bed.  Then he started me on a huge regime of vitamins and minerals – chromium, vit D, K, A, magnesium, manganese, B6 and the other B’s…but now I have diarrhea, although I was kind of having sloppy stools before.

Then I went to an accupuncturist the next day. Before reading anything of my history, she checked my urine and read my pulse.  Said I wasn’t absorbing fats or proteins correctly, and asked if I had a lot of flatulence/ digestive problems?  Resounding yes.  She told me that in the late 30’s, PMS gets worse, but then mellows out somewhat for about 10 years before true menopause kicks in.  But my hormones are out of wack, but she wanted to get my digestion better by using herbal bitters and probiotics first before messing with the hormones.  She recommended VSL#3, which is what the gastroentrologists recommend, so I added that back in last night.  Hopefully that will help with the diarrhea.

I am approaching 21 days for this latest cohort of hookworms, so that may also be contributing to the diarrhea.  I had total night sweats last night, so my period should be arriving today or tomorrow – thank God!  I hope with my husband’s return, and PMS past, I will go back to sleeping.  But if I don’t tolerate the oral vitamins, I don’t know how I’m going to get my nutrients up to ward off next month’s doom.

My family is encouraging me to go to a psyciatrist and get Xanax, another SSRI, a sleep aid.  I just am so reluctant to go down that road.  And how will it affect the Crohn’s?  How will it affect the worms?  My brother said, your doctor should know, and I just laughed.  Does anyone know a pychiatrist who would be well versed in Crohn’s and hookworms?

I may add St. John’s wort to the mix next week, but  I am doing so many things at once, it doesn’t seem right.  But this anxiety/insomnia is one of the harder things I’ve gone through – and it’s not like my Crohn’s is doing well either.  I have no appetite, I have to force myself to eat.  I’ve gone back to SCD, but it’s not making a damn difference.

I thought the hookworms were the answer.  I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.  It’s just a constant nightmare of one symptoms after another.  I wish I could go backwards and take supplements all along and had stuck more to my diet, so I wouldn’t have landed in this mess.  But I’m trying not to think that way.  That this too will pass.  That I will figure out what my body needs.

I just want to be well.