Not Pregnant Much Longer and Solid Stools

Just found out yesterday that the “fetus” is only a 3 week old egg sack, so it stopped growing 2 weeks ago and no heartbeat like it should at this point.  So I’ve been nauseous and worried for nothing.  No miscarriage yet; they want to confirm with another ultrasound next week, so I get to just wait, feel slightly nauseous, and then I guess take a medicine that stimulates uterine contractions unless the miscarriage starts on its own before then.  I have to admit to being slightly relieved – I really didn’t feel in a proper mental and physical place to carry a baby.  Now I can continue to go up on Celexa, won’t have to wean off  of it in the third trimester, I can concentrate on getting more magnesium and other nutrients.  Am kind of sad, though, as it’s hard not to imagine the whole gamit of another child, little chubby legs, my daughters disapointed that they won’t have a little baby to play with.  We may get a puppy instead.

The good news, hookworm and Crohn’s wise, is my stools are firming up nicely.  Unless it’s the pregnancy hormones, but  I’m hoping that the regression of the last few months was due to declining worm population or egg counts, and the worsening diarrhea the last few weeks has been from the new cohort.  It would be nice if it were so simple.  I dosed with 10 hookworms in February, and had very few side effects.  Was better by the second month, but still had diarrhea on and off, but felt a lot better.  At the end of summer, I had a noticeable regression, and my egg count went from a peak of 1050 epg to 800 epg, which may have just been the normal drop off point after 6 months.  I waited for the 6 week mark with this last batch, and my egg count over the weekend was 1550 epg, the highest yet.  I’ve been eating things that normally were a diarrhea guarantee – ceasar salad, tacos.  I’m having either solid or soft mounded stools.  I’m also finally tolerating a magnesium glycinate supplement in the evening, as well as a cal/mag supplement in the morning.  I’ve got some liquid cal/mag coming in the mail, so I hope the constant twitching in my various muscles slowly abates, because I’m sick of it.

Hoping the miscarriage is easy, and I don’t loose too much blood.  I had a miscarriage 5 years ago that I had to go to the ER for, and had a D&C which requires an antibiotic, which flared my Crohn’s and ended my one single year of remission I had had in a decade.  So I hope to do it without any intervention.

Still struggling with anxiety.  Knowing the FDA is involved with AIT is troubling, and having to incubate myself is not something I’m looking forward to.  We didn’t have time to do it over the weekend, so it is scheduled for this weekend’s project.  Hopefully it will work, as I feel very afraid without having a back up currently, especially if I need some kind of intervention with this miscarriage…

Too many things going on at once.  I want a simple life.